Razzmatazz

The idea for the Razmatazz was born in a booze filled dream had by Ophelia (aka, me). 

 

Quick, let’s see a show of hands—who finds themselves terribly shocked by the fact that I dream of booze?  Anybody?  ANYBODY?  Bueller?  No?  Yeah.  Me neither. 

 

Onto the dream:  I dreamed I was at a bar when a cocktail waiter sauntered past with a gorgeous red number on his tray.  “Ooooohhhh,” I’d crooned, “what kind of cocktail is that?”  He flashed a pearly white smile, “Why, The Razmatazz, of course.”  “Mmmm…Why don’t you bring it and your gorgeous self right on over here,” I said with a wink.  And, then…well…let’s just leave the dream off there before this becomes awkward.

So, upon awakening, I immediately informed my fellow Accidental Drunks of the dream.  They, in turn, suggested that creating The Razmatazz in the waking world be my new cocktail challenge.  And, so my jazzy friends, I present:

The Razzmatazz

1 shot Navan (vanilla cognac)

1 shot Chambord

Splash of raspberry mixer

Slightly larger splash of Club soda

Raw sugar (for rim)

Line the rim of an old fashioned with raw sugar.  Add ice to the glass along with Navan , Chambord, and raspberry mixer.  Stir.  Fill the rest of the glass with club soda, stir again.  Serve with a raspberry garnish.

I have also successfully mixed this with the addition of a little vodka (1/2 shot or so) to the mix (really…what isn’t better with a little vodka?).  You could also try it by replacing the Navan with vanilla infused vodka and it would still rock.  Whatever you do, though, don't get all crazy and think you can try it with vanilla infused rum—it'll go from--lovely sweetness to--omg I think I may go into sugar shock--with a tip of the glass.

Cheers!

The Newest Accidental Drunk

THE VIDEO SAYS IT ALL...

The Cannonball Jack

And, now, my darling drunks…for the frightening. 

 

The Cannonball Jack is the sort of drink that when presented, you feel a little bit of genuine fear.  Murky green in color with a giant ice cannonball, this cocktail can be a little intimidating.  Then you take a sip…mmm…oh yeah…sweet lime and whiskey goodness!  Give me more! 

 

It is like a Whiskey Sour on steroids.  This is not a drink for the faint of heart—you gotta have just a little bit of that drunken pirate spirit to take on The Cannonball Jack.  A warning though:  When Jack debuted this drink, by the second cocktail, Tanker was making phone calls to contacts in remote locations arranging sailing lessons as we all had decided we were going to “get a pirate ship” and “take to the high seas.”  I have no idea.  It sounded like such a sound plan at the time.  Proceed with caution, my friends, proceed with caution!

The Cannonball Jack

2 shots whiskey (we recommend Pendleton)

½ shot Parfait Amour

1 shot frozen limeade concentrate (thawed)

½ shot water

Shake and serve over an ice ball in an Old Fashioned.  Garnish with lemon or lime.

     

Our Mission Statement

Accidental Drunks Mission Statement:

     The mission of the Accidental Drunks is to always have the utmost appreciation for any and all alcoholic beverages.  We accomplish this by consuming such beverages in the company of those we hold dear to our hearts, other Accidental Drunks.

Accidental Drunks Core Duties (required at all times, of all members)

     - Respect for The Founding Four

     - Self-titled cocktail

     - Regular club participation

Accidental Drunks NO-NOs:

     Never defame the Accidental Drunks name causing the public to cringe at the mere mention of our club. (Examples include, but are not limited to:  Drunk driving, there is never a time that one accidentally drives drunk, or getting arrested while wearing an official club shirt)

The Tanker

Aaahhh, The Tanker. 

We’ve had the floral. 

 

We’ve had the tropical.

And, now, we have the sophisticated.

  

This is a sleek, stylish, sublime sort of cocktail.  The color of the setting sun, The Tanker is reminiscent of a pool of liquid amber.  In Greek Mythology, amber is thought to be teardrops of the daughters of Helios, the god of the sun.  After a couple of these cocktails, one may begin to believe one is, in fact, drinking the ginger soaked tears of a goddess.  It is just.  that.  good. 

      

The Tanker is not only supernaturally savory and sophisticated, but strong as well.  It is, after all, the cocktail of a world traveled elite athlete—would you expect anything less?  Plus, we ARE called the Accidental Drunks, and not The Accidentally Slightly Buzzed…so strong is our specialty.  We aim for deceptively smooth, but, in fact, exceptionally potent in all our cocktails.  The Tanker is all this and more.

The Tanker

Chopped ginger

4 shots light lemonade

2 shots ginger vodka

1 shot sweet tea vodka

Directions:

Muddle a small handful of chopped ginger, a squeeze of lemon, and a few chunks of lemon pulp.  Add ice.  Add remaining ingredients.  Shake.  Serve in a chilled martini glass with a mint leaf garnish and a lemon peel twist.

Now…go on…get to muddling!

The Dirty Maybone

Today, for your cocktail pleasure, I bring you Dirty Maybone’s original self-titled cocktail (well, really SHE brings it!).  If The Ophelia is springtime in a glass, The Dirty Maybone is most definitely a tropical beach in the midsummer sun swirling in stylish stemware.

This is NOT to say that it has a flavor as gentle as the summer breeze.  This b*tch is bold.  In order to capture all that is Dirty Maybone in boozy elegance, it must be.  It’s tropical, of course, but also just a little bit sassy.  This is, after all, a woman who can lean an elbow on a bar, look you straight in the face, and say, “Who’s the Dirty Maybone?  I’M the Dirty F**king Maybone,” and completely own it.

So, without further ado:

 

Ahhhh…gorgeousness.  Just gazing at it transports me a little.

The Dirty Maybone

2 shots pineapple juice

1 shot cranberry juice

2 shots white rum

1 shot coconut rum

Splash of Crème of Coconut 

Directions:

Shake all ingredients.  Pour into a martini glass with pineapple garnish and voila, you have The Dirty Maybone.

Mix it.  Now.  You won't regret it.

The Ophelia

All Accidental Drunks must have, aside from the obvious penchant for inadvertent intoxication, a commitment to cocktail excellence.  We take our mixology seriously.  In that vein, the first task for any Accidental Drunk is to create an original self-titled cocktail.  This is a mission not to be taken lightly.  One must capture one’s own life essence in liquid form.  It requires a sort of inspired artistry with booze as one’s medium and elegant stemware the canvas (did I mention we take our liquor seriously?). 

     

So, today, my fellow booze hounds, I present you:  The Ophelia

Hellooo pretty. 

 

This cocktail is springtime in a glass.  It’s fresh, feminine, floral, and f**king amazing (if I do say so myself). 

But, don’t take my word for it—try it for yourself:

The Ophelia

1 shot Square One Organic Cucumber infused vodka *

1 ½ shots Crème De Violette

½ shot cranberry juice

Fresh lemon juice

Sugar

Edible Orchids

Line the rim and inside of glass with fresh lemon juice.  Shake vodka, Crème De Violette, & cranberry juice.  Serve straight up in a cocktail glass rimmed with sugar.  Float an edible orchid for garnish.

*To make your own cucumber infused vodka:  pour your favorite vodka into a pitcher with half of a peeled cucumber.  Let sit overnight.  Remove the cucumber and get to mixing!